Crush # 152

152 and still counting. This is the number of times I have fallen in love. But I think myself too smart and call it infatuation or rather, a crush. It is a wonderful feeling, being in “love” yet again. Those butterflies in your tummy when you are around that someone, that prickling in the back of your neck when you keep wondering if he is watching you silently too or not. Catching his eye in the rearview mirror of the car and averting your gaze quickly feeling guilty. Ah, I have been through all of these umpteen times and I still feel like a love struck teenager when I have a new crush. I fall in “love” at the most unexpected places with the most unexpected men. Once the subject of my attraction was 5 years younger to me; another time he was 10 years elder. I have fallen for my best friend’s brother, my own cousin, my dad’s friend and even my boy friend’s mate. (Oh, did I not say until now that I am happily committed for years now? :P).

This blog post is dedicated to my latest crush. This wasn’t the first time I was meeting him. I know him quite well; we have talked before, even met once. But this meeting was to be the first of many other things. This was the first time I noticed his perfect smile, so childlike and beautiful. It was the first time I noticed that his eyes were light brown. I got lost in them so many times that I had to remind myself not to keep staring at him. Of course, like a perfect lovelorn fool I led myself to believe that he liked looking in my eyes too. It was hard not to notice his messy hair and the urge to pass my fingers through them was always strong. The combination of his attentive nature with his childlike innocence was very fascinating. His pretty eyes missed nothing and the look of bewilderment in them when he caught me passing a naughty smile was enchanting and always made me laugh. And the questions! There was no end to them. He was curious, concerned, casual, attentive, all at the same time. He had an angel’s face with deep and knowing eyes and an unusual grace for his lanky and tall frame. He looked beautiful when he slept, with his hair all over his forehead, half covering his eyes. I could have just observed him sleeping for hours making a portrait in my mind’s canvas. Being a true gentleman, he was so concerned always, so polite and careful around me. But I got glimpses of the child inside him too. Those long stories which held me bound with me mouth agape and eyes wide, those funny and silly and at times adult jokes which had him in splits long before he reached the punch line! And when he laughed, there was nothing holding him back. It reached his brown eyes, lit up his child like face and his persona became so contagious that I couldn’t help laughing too! It was hilarious and mesmerizing at the same time.

I stole glances at him feeling a little thrill when I thought he was looking at me too. I cracked jokes at his expense just to find a way to talk about him or to him. I became a young teenager again. Hopelessly infatuated finding happiness in the littlest of things.

But isn’t that the real purpose of having a crush on someone? It makes you happy; it makes you feel good and lightens up your whole being. I know this cute little crush # 152 of mine won’t last long, but like all my crushes, I will savour it for a long – long time. Because, it makes me happy and that is all that matters.

J