Remember the first time you were called aunty or uncle, instead of didi or bhaiya? It really twists up your gut, doesn't it? You smile politely, and maybe even correct the defaulter, who invariably is a kid, but inside you are writhing in fury and self doubt. But the transition from didi to aunty is an unavoidable one and rather painful too. The sad truth is that even I have resignedly accepted my fate. So when some kid in the elevator addresses me as didi (instead of aunty), I revel in the pleasure of knowing I still look young enough! And I am often transported back to the times when I was still just Pinki or Sukriti.
Till college first year, I had no one to even address me as didi. I was the baby of the family, the youngest kid. So while I had tonnes of didis and bhaiyas, I was never ever called that. Even when juniors in college took to calling their seniors as didi, I strongly asked them to call me by my name. And now, hearing didi (instead of aunty. Ugh!) feels so... rejuvenating! So how does this transition from didi to aunty happen? I try to find out:
1. The wrong side of 20s: Because I am still perched at the verge, 25+ seems like an aunty-able age (This opinion may change post 28th September this year). But I think post 25th birthday, all didis become auntys. It is like a cassette, whose side has to be changed from A to B. So after 25, your side B begins. I think the case is a little better for men. They get a grace period of 5 years and get to be bhaiyas till they are around 30 year old.
2. Occupational Hazard: I got to know the hard way that-
working woman = mature, smart, worldly wise = AUNTY
Argh! So, don't take it personally when fresh out of college, with a spring in your step, you come back from your first day at your new job and suddenly you are now known as XYZ aunty instead of the much preferred didi.
3. You get married: So one thing that does happen overnight post marriage is that with the tag of mami, bhabhi, chachi etc. comes the 'aunty' tag too! Neighbours of in-laws introduce you to their kids as 'Beta, chalo aunty ko hello bolo'. And then it just sticks.
4. Insecure women: No, it is just not your fault alone that you suddenly become aunty. It won't be wrong to blame the insecure women in your neighbourhood, jealous of your youth, who teach their offspring to call you aunty, instead of didi, so that she isn't the only aunty around. It is a vicious cycle!
5. Face it!: So, ya, maybe I should be brave and face the fact that *sigh* I am getting older (and smarter too, hopefully) and I don't look like a kid anymore. My maturity shows on my face and hence, I should think of aunty as a term of respect bequeathed upon someone who seems considerably more wise and intelligent than the other person. Even though, it is mostly a kid in our case.
I won't lie, it is indeed one of the many reasons, howsoever tiny, that I wish to settle down in a developed country where women are still addressed by name or Ms. Jain or Mrs. Pandey. Till that happens, I am being a tolerant aunty.
