I do? I Do NOT!

Are you single and of marriagable age (read aged between 19 to 26)? Do your parents love to show off your talents in public? Are you Baniya or Jain or God forbid, both?

If your answer to the above questions is yes, then you have my sympathies with you. Of late, marriage seems like the hot topic. People around me are either newly weds, engaged, meeting a boy/ girl (ofcourse for wedding related purposes), cribbing about their marriage, looking for prospective bride/ grooms or enquiring about the same. Wedding, especially for us members of the fair sex, is expected to be  the ultimate purpose of life. I will explain with my own example. I pride myself in being the offspring of modern minded folks. Maybe the right phrase here would be – used to. My bubble burst when my elder sister tied the knot. Now my parents don’t seem much different than Anandi’s folks. (In case your mom isn’t addicted to this particular soap opera like my Ma, then let me enlighten you that Anandi is the famous child bride of the television drama Balika Vadhu which caused Colours channel's TRPs to shoot up). Suddenly the word 'marriage' began popping up in all the discussions around me! Of course I am not being bombarded with pictures and bio – data of strange men. Not yet. But being 21 has started feeling like a sin. No opportunity is left to remind me that I am the next in line. Going to social do’s (especially weddings!) has become a fearful task that I have come to loathe. There is always an Aunty or two at such a gathering who would be judging me with her X – Ray vision and creating a detailed report on how I would fare as her or some far – off relative’s daughter- in – law. Some women have made matchmaking the purpose of their dull lives and don’t leave any chance to suggest a boy, with detailed description of his looks, his father’s business and mother’s social standing, as a prospective son – in – law.

I don't blame parents for wanting to see their daughters happy and settled in their lives, but it is just sad when marrying off their daughters becomes a duty, accomplishing which will let them retire in peace. And hence, parents are ready to sacrifice their daughters careers, ambitions and aspirations if a proposal comes from a wealthy family. 

It's a hard world, and not just for women. Men, I believe face a different sort of pressure. If you belong to a service class family, the pressure is to find a respectable job, earn well enough to attract attention of a good family who will approve of the boy's gross income and hand over their daughter's hand to him. (Please pay extra attention to the adjectives: respectable job and earn well)

And if you are from a business family, then you are in more trouble brother. Have your share of fun and fulfill your fancies before diving headfirst in your beloved Daddy's business. Because you cannot escape the bees after smoking beneath their hive. Fulfilling your responsibility of being the business scion of the family is the green signal for wedding bells. The general notion is that once you are handling business full time, no matter what your age might be, you are eligible to be married. This is especially true for Baniya families. 

Somehow, parents seem to have the idea that marriage is equal to happiness. Of course I am a firm believer (and hopeful) of happy marriages but somehow being a wife or a husband isn't all that there is to life for me. Marriage isn't happiness. Marriages are to be made happy and that is only possible if both the parties involved are satisfied with their personal lives and each other. 

Sadly, most parents fail to understand the point and unlike some last entries, I do not have any solution to offer. And now I have to go hide in the bathroom. The neighbourhood matchmaker has come to pay a visit. Not a good time to be in viewing distance.

Adios.

This is ME

A fortnight back I thought of jotting down a few characteristics or peculiar quirks of mine which define ME. After 2 weeks, following is the list I compiled in no particular order. It helped me to know myself better.

*I feel very conscious when people talk to me looking at my lips and not my eyes.
* If I am looking at my phone again and again while talking to you, then it is a signal that you are making me uncomfortable.
* If my smile doesn't show my gums, then its my practised polite smile. Not genuine.
* I totally dig toilet humour.
* If you do something for me, even if trivial by your standards, it would take a lot of convincing to make me believe that you are a bad guy for others.
* I sit on the toilet seat reading books for as long as an hour or till someone bangs the door.
* I take my most beloved people for granted although I expect a lot from them.
* I sing aloud in the metro.
* It really matters to me what people think about me, even if those people are complete strangers.
* I can count my "friends" on my fingers.

* I bite my lip when I am concentrating, worrying or blushing.
* Many people will realise that they have shared their life's secrets with me while I haven't been so open.
* I like being alone, hate being lonely.
* I cry while reading most of the books.
* I am a brilliant bathroom singer. Somehow the same songs don't sound too good in any other setting.
* I am a little over confident about my gadget related skills. When in real, I know I am the one eyed one amongst the blind.
* I suck with money management.
* I am not comfortable meeting acquaintances unexpectedly. Generally, I end up avoiding them and don't acknowledge them if I spot them in a public place. But if the other person spots me and strikes a conversation, in most cases I feel grateful for the company.
* I am not a people person. (People at my workplace won't be very happy with this considering I am supposed to be a guest relations executive).
* I feel guilty for mistakes committed by others.
* I am jealous of girls with straight silky hair.
* My hair look good in my bathroom mirror, awry in my bedroom mirror and pathetic in every other mirror.
* If you haven't seen me angry, you don't know me.
* I am a better writer than conversationalist.
* I may come across as a wise girl to some, but I am not famous for following my own advice.
* I miss my sister, but I would kill myself before admitting it to her face.
* I don't have any favourite colour, song, actor or food.
* I have terrible choice when it comes to clothes.
* I can't window shop. I can't shop. Period.
* I am always more excited about the car/ train/ bus journey than the trip itself.
* Although I might brag about knowing lots about and liking international cinema, I almost always end up watching/ re-watching a Hollywood rom - com when in the mood for a movie.
* My memory isn't half as good as a 21 year old's should be.
* I don't like making or taking calls unless I am extremely close to you. I am more of a text and email person.
* I think I manage to look decently good if I take pains. But I detest taking pains.
* Until 2010, I did not know how to apply kohl.

* I am funny.
* I have had close to 200 crushes in all my 21 years.

* I find it hard to believe that someone might have the hots for me.
* I can be a b*tch if I am your friend. You are perfectly safe if you are just an acquaintance.
* I get restless when I have to wander aimlessly. I prefer to plan things in advance.
* I usually skip through a much loved song or forward it when I am listening to it on my music player. But I wish to listen again and again when I come across it accidentally on the FM.
* I like dogs more than I like little babies.

* I name my gadgets, popular ones being Bobby (my BlackBerry) and Pintu (my netbook).

* I maintain a diary.

* My ego is more inflated than an average guy's.

* If I happen to hold a grudge against someone, it takes a while before I forgive, if I ever do.

I might have missed many. If you think you know me, please add to the list.