Sunday, January 29, 2012

Why all boys MUST have girlfriends


The scientist who pitched men and women under the same species homosapiens certainly had a lot more to learn. Even biology wouldn't have imagined how messed up this world was going to be when it decided to grant the different sexes with different hormones. And hence, different feelings and different thought processes. Feelings and thought processes is what this particular blog post is all about.
From keen observations I can derive a theory which all girls are most likely to agree with and most boys, silly as they are, would scoff at.

Theory# Girlfriends are the catalysts that help boys graduate to being men.

All those who are smirking/ laughing/ giggling and wondering if I have lost my mind need to stop thinking dirty to be able to understand the profound nature of this theory.
Boys by nature don't have to act cool because they mostly are. I used to find the effortless cool and nonchalance of men charming before I bore witness to the foolishness which camouflaged itself as the chilled out behaviour. I used to believe that all boys are programmed to act at least a bit chivalrous when they are out with girls. Forget chivalry, that's too strong a word. You can say they act superior by nature when they become all protective of the fairer sex in their company by leading the way, walking on the side facing the traffic, bossing around the waiter, insisting to pay, waiting outside the powder room and so many other cliché gestures. The reasons for this behaviour can be ego - boost, show-off, 'setting an impression' (I love this phrase! :P) or genuine chivalry (the chances of which are minimum as this quality became endangered, if not extinct with the princes of the past). I have had the pleasure of being treated like a princess many times and though it can get slightly irritating at times (when I'm in a feminist mood), it is mostly charming. 

Therefore it was a rude shock for me when I recently discovered in an appalling manner that this sudden burst of superiority (or whatever you might want to call it) is peculiar to boys who have had the presence of females in their lives as more than mother or sisters. Boys, who for whatever reason stuck to singledom missed out on some basic manners to be practiced around girls. Like giving more attention to them than to food and by attention I mean talking to them, and not their..err.. other body parts. Remembering that humour is good only till it doesn't convert into snide, rude and embarrassing comments. And similar things.

This epiphany struck me when I went to a temple with a group of friends. The girls and boys got separated during the security check and while the girls were going berserk looking for the boys (mobile phone were not allowed in the premises. How stupid!), the boys were busy filling their tummies in the food court. What is more, as the evening was winding down, the girls wanted to reach home in time (parents, I tell you! Well, they deserve another blog post), the boys wanted to go bowling (after a very late and heavy lunch, imagine!). So we girls who were still offended by the ruthless behaviour shown by the boys decided to play the non - chalant card, acted as if we could manage to go back home alone, wished the boys fun for the rest of the evening and stalked off, not sparing them a backward glance. Well, of course we were sure that they would come running behind us offering to drop us home as it was late and dark and none of us were very sure of the way back home and the city is no longer a safe place for young girls to venture alone in (Excuse the dramatics, at that moment, it did pose a BIG problem, I mean the newspapers are full of gory stories, but that again is worth another blog post). But it did not happen! The boys surprised us again. Hence, 7 girls fit themselves into one car and drove around speculating about the correct way back home, cursing the boys for their insensitivity. That is when it hit home. That had we even a single couple amongst us, the day would have had a happy ending. Granted that the boys apologized later (much later!) and girls, as is in their nature, did not make much of an effort to understand the boys' side of the story. But what's use of hitting the iron when it has cooled down already?

Infact, it is rather easy to tell which guy has had a girlfriend at some point of his life. Girls bring out the best in men which stays with them even if the girl doesn't. Hence, to help boys grow into men (I hope NOW you understand the deeper meaning behind this statement, dirty minds!), and not hesitant, insensitive, crude jokers, a girlfriend is a necessity. So girls, be smug; guys, think about it and give some credit to the fairer sex and forever single guys, do yourself a favour. Find a girlfriend.  

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

A Hard - Bound world

(Or paperback if you prefer it that way)
 I am not easily influenced as a general rule. I maybe silent, but that doesn't mean that you have managed to convince me. But there is something to whose influence I involuntarily succumb. It has the power to alter my mood. I don't even realize when it starts working its magic and its astonishing power creeps up on me and has a blanket effect which is hard to fight. That something is books. 

My last book (Room by Emma Donaghue) was a simulating read. I was forcing myself to read it slowly to savour it for a long time as I did not have any other book to devour after I was through with it. But when I realised that it was clouding my head with depressing thoughts I quickly finished it (partially also because the plot caught up with me. It was hard to put it down after that). That is why I prefer to alternate genres after each book I read. But because I am facing a dearth of good books these days (I miss days when people suggested books by authors other than Chetan Bhagat), I am re-reading my little collection for the umpteenth time. But I often end up avoiding my favourite one, Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns. It is a beautiful composition because for me it flows like a perfect melody making the reader feel a rainbow of emotions. But people complain that it brings out the feminist in me. But apart from that I get too sentimental and the vulnerability bothers me. 

So I generally find myself re- reading the Twilight series. It brings a smile to my face, a spring to my step and I can smell the romance in the air. It is not because of the author's expertise. Far from it. It is just because I have a crush on a character (which girl won't actually. Edward is every woman's prince charming despite him being a vampire). I rarely get into a bad mood when I'm reading that series and I guess that's the reason why I have read twilight over 20 times and conveniently skip the second book in the series where Edward is absent for the most part. 


But let me clarify that romance is not my genre. Thank goodness my mother brought me Enid Blyton books to read rather than Nancy Drew. I have a theory about those. Girls who read Nancy Drew advance to Mills & Boons later. From Enid Blyton’s kiddy novels I progressed to Famous Five mysteries. But somehow, I never read too many thrillers (enough, but not too many) or mysteries and even now I'll choose a nice emotional story over a pacy thriller. I suppose my Ma is the reason behind this sub conscience preference. I was very young and an avid reader. Being a teacher, my Ma got me books from the school library so I read books of her choice. That is why most of the books I have read are emotional and have a complex story line which is hard to describe in one line.

 

Many books have had me sobbing uncontrollably (like Cecilia Ahern's P.S. I Love You, an exceptional romance in my favourite books list),  made me live in a world of fantasy (like J. K. Rowling's brainchild), altered my attitude towards the world around me (Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird, Gregory David Robert's Shantaram), made me more sensitive to others (Sorayya Khan's Noor, Arthur Golden's Memoirs of a Geisha) and had me in splits (Jerome K. Jerome's Three men in a boat). Books have changed the way I see the world. 

They have given me sweet dreams and nightmare. They have made me the person I am today. I might have read hundreds of thousands of books. Thanks to my rather poor memory, I forget stories and then re – read and re – re – read books again and again! For those who might raise an eyebrow at my choosing books over partying, or are bored of the monotony in their life, try losing yourself in someone else’s world…