The Half Truth: March 2010

What follows is an almost minute by minute account of the making of My, Piyushi and Madhulika’s film: Minor Complications.

Lights - Check Sound - Camera rolling - ACTION!

I couldn't sleep the night before. All I got was an hour or two's rest, a constipated tummy and a restless mind. Does every mind act devilishly mean the night before an important event? Or am I the only freak around? Because I had some pretty nasty nightmares ranging from a car accident to a light crashing on an actor's head! Oh, I even had one where the camera person got a laughter attack and she couldn't stop laughing. Ok, the last one is made up Piyushi! And before every one loses me, I am talking about my GRADUATION FILM SHOOT! And no, hanging out with a camera, tripod, light reflectors, thick sheets of thermacol, a million sheets of multi - colored gel papers, butter papers, lights, light stands, cutters, cutter stands, cutter stand holders (weigh 5 - 7 kilos), extension cords, copies of scripts and bag full of props is NOT cool! It is rather a pain in the butt.

So yes, me, piyushi and madhulika as a team shot for a 20 minute docu - drama, Minor Complications.

So now that the brief is here, I'd start with the GORY and FUN details!

DAY 1

22.2.2010

Running late! We were the last one to reach college. Got the equipment that other people had rejected! A torn camera bag, only 3 lights and a taped cable. While driving towards our location (and avoiding two near fatal accidents), I was numb. Only thought, reach the location. But I had no idea what to do there once I reach! Has anyone given a thought to what do we do first before we start shooting? Should we help the actor choose a costume? Help the actor rehearse? Get the lighting done? Oh, aren't we supposed to set up first? But, shouldn't we be setting the frame and then making the set accordingly? But what if lighting that set isn't possible? Shouldn't we check the feasibility of lighting before beginning? But I dared not speak one question! Which director wants to seem like an idiot who just hangs out with a crew and a million pieces of equipment without knowing what sense to make out of it all?!

So I just let things be. The setting turned out to be perfect, the light man turned out to be a genius, the camera person was enthusiastic enough to become a monkey (wo)man for the very first shot, the actor was a natural! So, I was lucky. I could feel the adrenaline rush as I checked the frame, helped the actor rehearse, double - checked the lighting, white - balance, exposure, deep - focus and other mumble jumble. The first time I shouted action, I knew it had started well. Good things happen to good people. And yes, I am not really modest when it comes to that!

The first schedule of shoot took longer than we expected, rather hoped! But I surprised my crew and myself by being most patient and in control. The shoot wrapped up nicely with a big lunch of oily chana bhatura and dal makhani. (Whosoever said that one should eat light before a big day's work did not know the wonders of yummy food!)

So it was post 4 PM and our bad time started. We had to give challans for both the cars. (The pandu said we were going wrong side on a one way road! I had quite an argument with the I - am - more - superior - than - you - ass - of - a - policeman!)

Location 2: My humble abode. Not fit for accommodating a crew of 7, not counting my 2 year old niece who kept dropping in to say 'Hi'. It's getting late, we are short on time, and the scheduled shots are still not over! And, NOW I start getting panic fits! (I know people who would say that's an understatement!) Well, what followed was a series of threatening calls from the college studio where everyone tested there PR skills by trying to convince the studio in charges politely with dollops of makkhan. But it seemed like Amit Sir was on a very strict butter free diet 'cuz it seemed to slip right off of him. We were short of quite some scene when I half heartedly said 'Wrap Up'. Of course Piyushi and Madhulika tried to pacify me and each other. 'Our first day target was rather unattainable but we did a good job' 'If we had forcefully completed today's schedule, we would have come up with bad stuff!' 'We still have 3 days and most of the work is done!' and blah, blah, blah... But I can bet on my final film that bitching was WAY better than 'feel good' comments.

And how we bitched!

We bitched about how others had still not reached. How the first slot people had reached even later! About the teachers, the studio assistants, friends, foes and trust me, it felt a LOT better after that! But then, bitching is like red bull (only form of drug I’ve tried, and did not like! Eww taste! so excuse my lack of good examples!). The high fizzes out real

soon. So there we were in our college. 9 in the night. Dead tired. I was wearing my fuzzy fur slip on and looked dead tired and depressed so Piyushi handled the situation. Of course we apologised for being late. (The studio internet wasn't working so sir was even MORE angry!) Amongst threats of getting our footage deleted, being issued the equipment 2 hours later, heartfelt apologies and threatening calls from Laili Ma'am we bid a quick farewell. Ran home. Discussed the next day's stuff (Piyushi was half brain dead anyway by that time and brilliantly irritated by my sudden attack of OCD. Oh! I had also pissed off my ma majorly cuz I let the lightman put double sided tapes on my room's low ceiling.)

CAUTION: Never put DST on walls/ceilings/even wood! It DOES NOT come off without feeling the paint and the plaster!

I am glad that night we could finally sleep and I had never had a better night's sleep.

Day 2

23.2.2010

6.30: Damn it! Who set the alarm for so early?!

7.30: Why is this thing ringing every half an hour?!!

8.00: Who set 'Billo Rani' as the alarm tone!? Oh.. umm.. I did.. Time to wake up!

Amongst the many times that Piyushi loathed me, this one is quite high up in the list. She HATES waking up early! So I cheerfully woke up the gang. Let our chauffer/stylist/production manager/my sister sleep in for a while longer and dragged Piyushi off to college. As always, to shame us a bit more, Madhulika was already there looking as fresh as ever! We were still late. Few people had left with their equipment already! (God! How do people wake up in the morning?! :O ) Our first few shots were in the college campus. Piyushi played along with the camera with me hovering around irritating her with my never ending chants of 'Exposure, white balance, Deep Focus' while Piyushi shouted irritated 'Sukriti I KNOW! (SO shut the hell up) and make these irritating stupid women shut up (for other innocent, happy chattering, carefree students).' While Madhulika acted as the strict school teacher and made the non - stop gigglers and the part time

mali

with his whirring lawn mower shut up, we wrapped up the college sequence well in time. Before time! Whoopee! Effectively translates as more time to sleep tonight!

Double whooopeee!!

Location 2: While we were working in college, my sister (cum all those other designations) was acting as a chauffer for our other talent who refused to carry a phone for some superbly weird reason which I still haven't really understood. So as we waited (and waited and waited and waited some more...), Jiji gave me abusive calls every 10 minutes threatening to leave the @#$^$#%^ right where he was as she didn't give a shit about him and she wasn't my bloody chauffer to wake up damn early in the morning to wait for the bloody 'actor' in front of a disgustingly crowded Kashmiri Gate station (and other unmentionable stuff). Even though our production manager- 2 cum our male lead's personal assistant turned up soon, he couldn't help much as Mr. Zeshan Ahmed (our actor) did NOT HAVE A CELL PHONE!

So while we whiled away our time in our (very rude) school's basketball court and cursed the sun and Zeshan and gossiped and bitched and cursed some more, Chinki cursed me even more!

NOTE: Zeshan's screen time is less than 3 minutes.

Finally the awaited superstar graced us (THAT was sarcastic Zeshan). I take this opportunity to profusely thank Sumedha (our lead) For being so punctual, so patient, such a good actor and amazing fun!

Well, once the whole crew was on location, the actors had to change. In my whole school life put together, I had never stood standing outside the boy's bathroom waiting for a boy as I did that day! Zeshan tried clothes, changed again and tried again. I ran into half the teaching faculty. Immediately became red faced as I tried to explain to my old pleased - to see - me school teachers why I was standing outside the boy's loo and went on to explain what I was doing in school and how my sister is, what is she doing, how is papa and how is everyone and blah, blah, blah..

Well, after our actors dolled up and the camera was set, we started rolling. And dude was it HOT! The sun was right on our head. I could feel my hair being bleached by the unforgiving sun. Tempers rose. Kids in the playground were a menace and rude and a bunch of misbehaving ruthless idiots! (Piyushi shall add better.. er.. adjectives (??) to the list, I am sure)

13 takes! 13 takes of a shot. I had given up after 5. After that I liked everything that was being taken. But thanks to our Ms. Perfectionist DOP, we kept on taking more and more... and *YAWN*.

And then it happened. An idiot 13 year old kicked a football which landed right on our camera!

Instantly I was brain dead. Piyushi was screaming. Madhulika was looking around for the little rascal.

My mouth hung open. Piyushi was still screaming. Madhulika and lightman were checking the camera.

I was looking around half dazed. Piyushi was screaming even louder. Lightman declared the camera was okay.

I breathed (finally), ordered the kids out of the playground (being a teacher's daughter has its advantages) and we continued rolling. But Piyushi's eyebrows never relaxed till we reached the library was sequence 2.

We had some pretty good shots. We were done with the school shots and surprisingly we were bang on time! Whoopeee! I could sleep on time!

Location 3: Kshitij's home. Boy, was I embarrassed! Ruining my room is one thing but taking advantage of my best friend's home while he was away is totally another! The whole crew threw themselves on the sofa and the recliner as I bustled about offering water and trying to make tea. Jiji and Ayush (production manager2) went out to fend for lunch while we relaxed. Well, most of us did. I was a bit excited (in the wrong way, maybe it was because of the sun). I kept hopping around here and there dragging Madhulika and Piyushi around, showing them possible places for the shoots, checking camera angles, seeing the natural lighting etc. etc. while they, for my sake I'm sure, acted interested. Well after a (very costly) lunch (which raised our budget to an impressionable number), we set to work. (Jiji washed the spoons because I did not want to leave the house dirty and I was smart enough to askt them to get paper plates!).

Lighting for the first shot took us 1 hour 15 minutes and the screen duration of the shot is less than 15 seconds. Darn it!

So now we were behind time. Slightly. But shooting the 'Sax scene' was way too much fun. Giggling, as Ayush tried to set the mood with Bryan Adam songs and Jiji kept clicking pictures in the oh - so - awesome - red light and Piyushi made an awesome frame and I showed Zeshan how to lie on the bed half naked and the light man advised Sumedha and Jiji that post - coital hair are a lot messier (ROFL!!), we shot some real good shots and were on time again! Whoopee! I could still sleep on time!)

Kshitij, we left the house spic and span! Promise! :) (Though I bet you don't give a shit!)

Location 4: We were back in college. At 7! Half an hour before the time we promised! Oh and were we smug about it! *Giggle*

But we still had a teeny weeny bit of outdoor sequence to shoot and te light was falling. We hurried to Teapo with just our Pintu (PD) and sheets of thermacol. Within 15 minutes the light was going, going and gone... Damn it! So we shot inside.

And was luck with us! Some amazing natural lighting conditions later, we were done. I am editing the part where first Piyushi, and then I, lost our cool and irritated each other. Both justified I might add!

Second day over! Bada bing bada boom! On time! Whoooopeeee!!! We all could sleep on time!! Yabadaabadoooo!!

P.S. Waiting for Zeshan was completely worth it! He and Sumedha did a fantabulistically awesome job! It was amazing!

Day 3

24.2.2010

Could you believe it? Me and Piyushi slept till 9.30 (even later actually but I don't want to sound as an irresponsible director and make my DOP look like a lazy bum). The first few scenes were to be shot at my home (again! Ma was being lenient. She feared that I might have had a nervous breakdown had she reprimanded me for spoiling the ceiling again!).

Madhulika was being a darling and getting all the stuff, SUmedha and lightman straight to my place. So we got more time to sleep! :D

Anyhow, today morning's shots have been the best so far. What lighting! What camera (Pat on the back for Piyushi)! What time management! What homemade kadi chawal (Polite applause for Jiji). It was so smooth! Touchwood! Piyushi came up with some rather awesome camera angles, the lightman made us proud and Sumedha is a natural! Some amazing shit happened!

Location 2: Max Pitampura for the gynaecologist. Is the hospital formal or IS the hospital formal! We were transferred from one guard to another, the from one marketing guy to another. They gave us a tiny cabin which belonged to a rather ill natured (Jain) doctor. While we waited for the gynaec, the marketing head specifically asked us to include the hospital's name and some bull about the hospital's this and thats. We did gladly. We love giving free publicity ma'am! (And that was sarcastic!). We made the grudging lightman and Jiji and Madhulika to go down (the gynaec was to meet us on the 4th floor) and get the light as the lighting was insufficient. With dark looks, they obliged as me and Piyushi fought over the camera angle. We were getting rather impatient.

The byte was good. Really great. I got involved in the interview. It was THAT good! Dr. Varma knew what she was talking .

A crisp and to - the - point byte later, we were back on the road, on a high that we were finished before time. We could reach the psychologist well in time and wrap up pretty early!

But then how lucky can we be?

Flat tire. Bang in the centre of the road. We couldn't move the van an inch. So sardarji driver made us all get out of the van as he changed the tire. And guess which festival was just around the corner? HOLI! The first ballon hit Jiji who had felt like wearing Indian wear and was hence, decked up in a brilliant white patiala salwar and a cotton kurti.

Wham! Guess what stuff the balloon was filled with? PINK COLOUR AND MUD! YUCK! EWWW! AND MORE YUCK! (Let me clarify one thing: I HATE HOLI). So four girls balancing on the divider of a main road while balloons were pitched at us from both sides. I might take the opportunity to give some flak to the bloody good for nothing policemen again! They suck! They came, they saw, they laughed, they chickened out! (Okay they didn't laugh, I just wanted to make them look even more BAD!). Piyushi acted as the brave samurai. With a huge stone in her hand she dragged me and Madhulika, the damsels in distress, away from our impending doom. As we stared at the balloons which were pitched at us (me hoping to catch it and pitch it right back at the hooligans and Madhulika thinking that it would miss her), Piyushi bravely pulled me here and Madhulika there and saved us! I am forever indebted to our brave saviour! The whole episode lasted for about 45 mintues and then we were on our way, but not before shaking our fists at the police which was standing just 100 meters away from the scene of our obvious molestation! I wouldn't have been surprised if they would have taken out a pichkari, shouted 'HOLI HAI' and sprayed dirty colour on us themselves! Bloody Pandu!

Location 4: The psychologist. Beautiful house. Light guy wanted to go overboard with the lighting but went in a fit of depression when our hostess told us that there was only one power plug in the house, in the balcony! The interview went long! There is no other word for it. Well, editing is a wonderful gift to cut out all the non - necessary material.

Psychologist spoke enough to make 3 short films!

Day 3 came to an end. We were on time! Had very little stuff left to shoot! Right on schedule! Blissfully happy and smug and proud of ourselves. Added advantage: We could sleep till late tomorrow as well 'cuz we had an appointment with the counselor at 11!

Day 4 : Final Day

25. 2.2010

Good start to the day. Slept till 9.30 again. Madhulika got the equipment straight to the location.

School again. Sigh. Full of rowdy, stupid, mean, rude brats! I am honestly embarassed of my school after this incident hence you can see, no name!

We really were much before time, had nothing to do. We were hoping to get some extra shots but all we did was meet more teachers, exchange more pleasantries. Oh, Jiji earned some good compliments. A 5th grade kid called her 'pagal bandariya'! *Smirk* Well, Piyushi was pissed, again. She hates my school now. Absolutely loathes it! Who wouldn't if they are hit by hard clay balls! Anyhow, what we didn't realise was that our appointment was during the lunch hour. 20 minutes actually. We chose the junior library as the location. Libraries are s'posed to be quiet, right? Wrong! They suck! It couldn't have gotten louder. The noise! Piyushi was throwing me dirty looks which clearly said: The audio is effed up! Enjoy editing now bitch!

I just tried to calm her down. We got some good comments from the counselor and relieved, headed back to the college.

All this happened before noon. We had so much time left to pass. We had a song sequence to shoot which couldn't happen before 3! So after a long lazy (and cheap) lunch in the canteen, we talked and gossiped and laughed and showed off a bit! Song sequence was fun! We laughed. Had great fun! Took good shots! There was no hurry, everyone was in a good mood and everything was going fine. And today, no one burst our bubble. Blissful! It was really amazing.

So, this is it! Things went great! These 4 days were like a roller coaster ride. More thrills and thankfully less of scary turns which had us shitting bricks.

Here follows my VOTE OF THANKS:

Piyushi: You are THE best DOP anyone could have found. I am so lucky that I got my best friend as my Cam person. You were outstanding! Honestly, we have the best camera and it is all because of you. I just love showing you off. That shift focus, the 'sax scene', the first monkey woman shot! Minor Complications doesn't exist sans you. Thanks for being my strength.

I love you!

Madhulika: You rock! I am sorry but I will be honest that I was judgemental of you before because of obvious reasons but trust me, you were the surprise package! Did you ever say NO to anything? Volunteering for the most daring tasks (buying the pregnancy home test and condoms and all that!), making contacts, combing delhi for good and available psychologists! And being so much fun! I never realised you are as much of a perv as I am! Editing with you has been amazing! Thanks for being Minor Complication's People person and editor! This team can never be complete without you.

I love you!

Chinki/ Jiji: God! Am I glad that you are my sister! From being a spot boy to the production manager, you were great! You were entertaining, you gave wise suggestions, you got us good food, you made people look good on screen. I never had to ask for anything twice. Thank you soo soo much. I can't imagine what I would have done without you! Throughout these four days, you were so patient and bearing with me. I am sorry if I haven't thanked you enough in person, but I hope you know how grateful I am. You are a true rockstar!

I love you.

Sumedha: You were my 4th choice for Neha’s role! And am I glad the first 3 said no! Your made Neha live! You surprised us with your amazing acting and we hardly had any rehearsal! We didn't have to waste any time telling you what to do and how! It all came so naturally to you! Please, consider acting as a career option! You are really really REALLY amazing! Thanks for being my Juno! I loved flaunting you! Thank you for being a MAJOR part of Minor Complications.

I love you!

Zeshan: No cell phone to contact you. Late on your first and only day of shoot. But then, you could afford star tantrums cuz you really are a star! You are the spice in Minor Complications! That shirt-less act was impromptu and amazing and you were such a natural! It never felt that I hardly knew you cuz you made yourself so comfortable and indispensable. That 2 minute role is the BEST part of the film. I was kicking myself later for not having more role for you!!

Thank you. I am immensely grateful!

Ayush: Why are you so good? You are my unofficial casting director. Facebook link after facebook link of profiles to chose from! LoL! Thanks for being so genuine and helpful! I wish you were around for more time! From getting actors, to making sure they are on time to getting food and to bearing with all us crazy girls and for appreciating so much! Thank you so much.

P.S.: You are a very talented actor. Please don't ever leave that option!

Saurabh Sir: Thank you for making our song yours. Thank you for making the melody so much better. Thank you for those fun times while recording. Thank you for never expecting anything in return. Thank you for taking out valuable time from your 'busy' schedule for recording once and then again. Sorry for being such a bitch but you obviously know that no one could have saved me and helped me when I needed it the most, except you. 'Keep holding on' is yours. And everyone loves it. So much! I can never thank you enough for being Minor Complication's music director. No one else was meant for the job, but you.

Thank you.

Gupta, Joshi and Richa (In alphabetic order): Guys, I love you! Sonal G, thanks for helping out when I stuck right in the middle of the script. I am sorry if I didn't understand your choice but I do now. (I hope you know what I'm talking about). Richa, how so ever Joshi may crib about it, but I know you had your heart in my film too! I knew you were just a call away when I needed you. Thanks for being so nice to be all the freaking time! Josse! Thanks for thinking that I am worth calling when you were in a middle of a problem. If YOU think that I can give sensible suggestions, then I must be a sincere child! LoL. Thank you for taking out time from your obsessively busy schedule to know about Minor Complications. I know how much you love your film and your concern for our film means a lot! I love you guys infinite! What would I do without you!!

Chandni, Manasvi, Mehroo, Niyati (In alphabetic order): Editing would have been no fun without you guys around. The regular doses of fun and second, third, fourth and fifth opinions were DEFINITELY needed!! Thanks so much guys.

Lots of Love!

Ma and Papa: LOVE YOU SABSEEE ZYADA!! Thanks for making me the way I am. All credit goes to you (Good or bad, not my fault! :P). I am so proud that I am your daughter. Papa, your ideas are amazing and I can’t thank you enough for making my shoot so easy! Ma, well, thanks for letting me hug you and irritate the hell out of you. I am sorry I ruined the ceiling! It does look bad now! :P

Kshitij: Thank you. For bearing with me when I was so busy that I couldn't even talk for a minute. Thank you for understanding and lending me your room for the 'sax scene'. It is our favourite!

I love you!

Other people I need to thank: Pramila Ma'am, Aakanksha Arya, Neha Pant, Shubhdha, Tanya, Neha Ashok, Nandita, Prerna for just being there and appreciating us! God knows we needed it! Sumantra Sir, Amit Sir, Laili Ma'am, Jigyasa Ma'am, Sam Sir for teaching us all we know! Sumantra sir, you are GOD of editing!

I am sorry if I missed anyone. It was not intentional.

Thank you.

Love

P.S. Sorry for the long note. Just wanted to share it with all of you. :)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Keep Holding On

Girl with the cRAzY Hair!

‘MINOR COMPLICATIONS’: MAKING