Wikipedia: Romance is the pleasurable feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.
In the context of romantic love relationships, romance usually implies an expression of one's love, or one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person.
Of late I have been thinking a lot about romance. So when a friend asked where I last went for a romantic date, it got me thinking. I asked a few people what a ‘romantic date’ means to them. The answers were fairly predictable, though not very honest. Most girls had ready answers: Spending quality time with your boyfriend, getting to know each other better, enjoying each other’s company. Paints a pretty picture, doesn’t it? But it just sounded extremely cheesy to me. One girl answered – Shopping and I admire her for her honesty.
Guys on the other hand are more honest with their admissions. For most, going on dates means spending money while fervently hoping to ‘get lucky’. One even admitted candidly that a kiss in a dark movie theatre is totally worthy of the money spent.
For our generation, dating means eating out, watching a movie, hanging out at a mall etc. one common thing that I noticed was that all the above mentioned places are conveniently air conditioned but do not guarantee any privacy, a fact which most guys grudge (single track minds!). The concept of ‘spending a quality time with each other’ has become inter changeable with ‘spending a good quantity of money’. And ‘romance’ is just about getting physically intimate.
So, coming back to that conversation with my friend. When she asked me where I last went for a romantic date, I told her it was CP’s inner circle. She further enquired which restaurant we went to or was it a ‘shopping date’ (whatever on Earth that means!). I replied that we had not gone to any restaurant. We were just walking around having roadside bhelpuri. Her expression got me feeling like I was not wearing something important like shoes or pants! She finally blurted, “In this terrible heat?”, and I found myself defending myself by clarifying that we had Ice Lollies as well. I guess she pitied me and tried suggesting a number of restaurants and malls and other places for ‘hanging out’. I listened politely and nodded at the appropriate places and thanked her for the suggestions.
Later I thought that I should have told her how liberating it was to just walk wherever we wanted instead of sitting in a crammed theatre or restaurant. How sweet it was to share Ice Lollies instead of eating with proper etiquette in an expensive restaurant. How genuine and uninhibited was the laughter when his ice- cream melted in the sun and fell. How satisfying it was to talk about almost anything under the sun rather than making hushed conversations about the food and the current movie playing in the theatre. I should have told her, but something told me she would not have been interested. Besides, I could not have explained to her that my definition of spending a quality time is very different. Of course even I like a nice meal at a restaurant and watching a fun movie (no, I don’t like hanging out at malls!) but I won’t call these outings at dates. My idea of romance is not limited to fancy eateries and malls and movies only:
So what really is romance? For me, romance can be felt in the following:
1) An old man waiting in a ladies’ salon while his wife gets her hair cut and the smile they share when they catch each other’s eye in the mirror.
2) My father spooning my mother while sleeping, even after 30 years of marriage.
3) Boating at India Gate late at night.
4) A blank message from a loved one which means that they have nothing special to say, just that you came in their thoughts.
5) A young couple in a rickshaw. The boy’s arms draped around the girl’s shoulders.
6) A boy walking a girl home, carrying her book bag.
7) Giving your last roadside Dimsum to your loved one even though you are still hungry.
8) Just sitting together at home, watching a cricket match while really just looking at each other.
9) Seeing a bunch of suspicious looking characters, walking in front of your girl or exchanging sides with her.
10) Writing a love letter. Not SMS, not Email. A hand written love letter.
11) Telling your friends, “Oi, tameez sem teri bhabhi hai!”, when they call her ‘maal’ :P
And of course,
12) Having bhelpuri and Ice Lolly at India Gate.
J
So, what is your idea of romance?
