How many people have you come across whom you have labelled as attention seekers? I know quite a few and have even had the privilege of being close friends with them which gave me an opportunity to understand how their mind works. And my experience has also made me realise that you cannot help them get over this affliction, and while they may seem to be caring and cordial, but that is just a momentary distraction from keeping the spotlight trained on themselves.
My suggestion: Stay away from them as soon as you identify them. If identification is a problem, I will try to help:
1. Face 2: These are a unique variety of ASS (Attention SeekerS). They will be just like you and me in certain set ups which will make you feel that their wavelength totally matches yours! And then, when you least expect it, without warning, some trigger will put them in their true element and you would be clueless about what to do! For example, a close friend of mine became a different person near the opposite sex (using the past tense because she is no more a friend: the reasons will follow)! Her eyes would wander, her hair would always be flicking, her mind wouldn't be in the conversation, she will treat you like minions and she will forget about you. Her antics would range from unintentionally funny to downright appalling! Interestingly, she would easily revert back to her old self once the object/s of her attention would pass. It was all bearable in a girls only college with fests and events being difficult times to be with her. But post college, it was impossible to be in touch with her and when I did meet her, I always ended up kicking myself for ruining my day.
My advice: Steer clear. It will take such people a minute to forget you. Don't expect anything, and you will still be annoyed!
2. Fits!: This category of ASS is hard to identify. If you are not a keen observer, then the change in their behaviour will be unfathomable! So how do they operate? It's a little tricky. You are good friends. Everything is hunky dory. You are discussing your lives and having heart - to - hearts. All of a sudden, a switch will flick and the light in the eye of the person will just die. They won't look people in the eye. Act like everything is normal but their behaviour will scream: I - Want - Attention! People will enquire, genuinely worried, if everything was okay. And the answer that one can expect is, complete with a fake smile which doesn't reach their eyes: Nothing. Everything is fine.What I usually do at these times is deny them just what they are asking for: attention. And when you give up on them, they'll jump back into action, perkier than ever! It will just leave you confused and yes, again, annoyed.
My advice: Don't stress over what might have brought on this sudden mood swing. If they are good friends, they'll be back to normal soon and will save to heartache and bursting a brain nerve.
3. Me! Me! Me!: They are only concerned with one thing. Themselves. Every conversation should revolve around them. Their issue should become everyone's point of concern. All their happiness and sorrow is yours too. And in return, you give away no emotions of your own unless they are not associated with their's and that too preferably, in tune with theirs. They might not even know your full name! They want all the attention in the world and you end up being the spotlight trainer by giving them what they want, fuelling their stupid ego.
My advice: Why are you with such a person? To look cool? To be a part of the popular gang? Cut off and make your own space now! You might seem like a nerd but then that's still better than being a pet dog.
So basically, if anyone's attention seeking antics are giving you tension, just think again. Are they worth it? If yes. Fine. Deal with it. But then always think are you getting your due attention in return? It's OK to be selfish at times you know. It's better than being tread upon.
So, let go of 'ATTENTION'. Be 'At ease'. :)
So, let go of 'ATTENTION'. Be 'At ease'. :)
