It's Home 

The heat is intolerable. Men are lecherous. Traffic gets on your nerves. Everyone from auto – rickshaw driver to top level bureaucrats is corrupt. Delhi might be the worst city to live in. But then, we Dilliwaala’s swear by it and absolutely love it! Here are the reasons why:

1)      India’s dil: Raj Thakre might have a problem with all the Biharis and UP bhaiyya’s who flock his Maharashtra but Delhi can accommodate everyone. Delhi celebrates a unique cultural festival everyday! You get south Indian chana bhatura and Punjabi style Dosa here. You get the best Banarasi sari and the yummy Manipuri dim – sums. Everyone is welcome. I have had a conversation in Punjabi with a South Indian police – officer. I have gotten tips about the best Rajasthani restaurants from my East Indian friends. Delhi is home to about 14 million people and not 4 million of them can claim Delhi to be their home town. But it’s home.

2)      Chief chef: Mumbai is famous for vada – pao. Chennai for dosa. Kolkata for fish and Punjab for chana – bhatura. Big deal! Delhi might not have a regional specialty but then it is master of all! Delhi can pamper your palate with every imaginable variety. You crave it? Just name it! And it suits everyone’s pocket. You can spend 400 bucks on an iced tea or have a complete meal in just Rs. 20. Roadside pani – puri, small cosy Italian joints, stuffy Punjabi dhabas, simple south Indian restaurants, flashy north – Indian family restaurants, dingy Chinese outlets. You get everything you want and the way you want it!

3)      Rail – gaadi: Mumbai’s local and Kolkata’s trams can’t even dream to compare with our Metro! It’s our pride. It’s sophisticated and cool and fast and chick and.. it’s THE Delhi Metro! It is a gift to Delhi-ites. A new way to travel which has not only reduced distances, but also taught some manners to us all. It is Delhi’s jugular! It’s just incomparable.

4)      Dilli – Darshan: India gate – Red Fort – Humayun’s tomb – Zoo – Purana Quila – Qutub Minar - Lotus temple - Jantar Mantar - Akshatdham and a hundred or so places to visit! Even if you choose one place per weekend, it would take years to see all of Delhi’s marvels! And ofcourse, the nights are made fun with all the clubs and discos and pubs. Delhi is a quieter city than many others. Long drives at late hours can be fun with friends and romantic with that someone – special. Boating at the lake in India Gate can be as much fun as shopping in a mall. Playing gully – cricket can be as entertaining as watching a live match in Feroz Shah Kotla. Multiplexes and malls might have gained popularity, but the street market at Sarojini and Janpath is still the best for some shopping with free doses of masti. Delhi offers something to everyone.

5)       Dilwaale Dilliwaale: Most of all, it is the people that make Delhi special. You will find every variety here. Cute guys, pretty girls, hot dudes, traditional aunties, grumpy uncles, modern women with elbow length chooda and bright red sindoor, vegetable vendors with better mobiles than yours. They just never cease to surprise you. We Delhi – ites are a curious lot. We are always interested in other people’s business. If you ask us the way to a place, we’ll give you unimaginable details ranging from the placement of the public urinal to the description of the tree from which you might have to take that turn. We love a free show and hence every little accident of the road guarantees a huge crowd! We are appreciative. If a young girl is out for a walk in a mini skirt and figure hugging t-shirt, we are sure to sing a cheap song when she passes or whistle or pass a lewd comment or if nothing at all, we just like to stare to show our appreciation. We are very kind. We would come running to your help even if you don’t call us because it just might turn out to be an entertaining scene! We are warm people!

There are a hundred things which make Delhi better than any city in the whole world. It’s perfect for everyone. It might not be the cleanest or greenest or politest or richest or something else-sest.

But. It’s home.

Too early. Too soon.

Dedicated to my sister

I have been singing it since the day it got finalized. The wedding is on the twenty third of the eleventh month of the tenth year of the 21^st century. 23.11.2010. It is still months away! Then why do the preparations have to begin half a year before? I have been on innumerable shopping trips in this sweltering Delhi summer. I have suffered dehydration, near fainting spells, uncouth crowd of Karol Bagh and near accidents (thanks to Dad’s rash driving skills!) for this still – so – far – away wedding. And oh, it is not even MY wedding. I know she is my only sibling, my elder sister (though I still believe she might be adopted, explanations in some other post :P). I am very glad for her, but then why torture me for her perfect wedding? Honestly, I have not put in much effort to conceal, fabricate or exaggerate my less – than – acceptable enthusiasm towards the wed- talk (as I like to call it) at the dinner table. I don’t even bother to try to look interested while my Ma and sister launch into long discussions on new designs rampant in the ever blooming textile industries. I have even stopped nodding during a serious conversation between Ma and Dad over what to gift to which relative – in – law. I can almost feel the false smile slide off my face after exact 6 strenuous seconds of congratulatory phone calls from far off relatives who have a million or two suggestions to offer. My point being, it is too early for all this.

Take today for instance. The would – be bride wanted to learn how to tie a sari. And the teacher that my mother is, she couldn’t let this opportunity to teach the art of tying this 9 yard cloth, pass. So we all gathered in Ma’s bedroom while she chose the tester sari. I watched as Ma wrapped the soft fabric around my sister’s tiny little waist and the enthusiastic student moved her hands and eyes animatedly to learn as much as she could. She was listening in rapt attention, I could tell by the little frown between her eyebrows, as Ma passed on her knowledge to her daughter. Taking my sister’s hand, Ma taught her how to make perfect folds for a graceful sari. My sister was nodding, asking questions and nodding again as Ma expertly tied the 9 yards of fabric into an elegant sari. I saw the bride smile and twirl happily as the scarlet cloth swirled around her dainty frame. Yes, I did say bride because that is how I was imagining her. In my mind’s eye I saw the 23 year old girl evolve from a girl into a woman. I saw her face as she concentrated on the task at hand. I observed her hands as she tried her hand at tying the sari. I watched as she smiled after doing it on her own. I saw her pride and joy. I could feel the happiness she was feeling but restraining because she didn’t me to tease her. This was the most beautiful moment of my day today. And then I realized it is not about the wedding preparations alone. It is about being happy together. It is all about sharing my sister’s joy and happiness and pleasure as she prepares to write a new chapter in her life. It is about being family. It is about showing our love. It is about wanting the best for her. And now I want it too; a perfect wedding for my sister. Because too soon she would be gone.

And now I have to go. Time for another shopping trip. We have to hurry up with the preparations. Six months, after all, is not enough time and so many things are yet to be done and said.

Jiji, I love you.

Blissful love – or maybe not!

LOVE! The stars in your head. The spring in your step. Those butterflies playing hopscotch in your tummy. Those day dreams. That twinkle in your eye. Your heart skipping a beat.

Sorry to break the bubble sirs and madams. It is all a big load of BULL!

Love is not a Karan Johar blockbuster. It does not guarantee happy endings. It is not a pretty little feeling which can be enough for your entire lifetime. I am sorry to play Tsunami to that sand castle of yours, but love is not the antidote to your colourless life.

A month of being in love and the little devil lifts its ugly head, flicks the carpet from right under your feet and you fall on your bum with the dust swirling all around you. Wake up time dreamers!

Love makes you INSECURE: You think you give ample space to your partner? And are you absolutely sure that he/ she is loyal to you and completely trustworthy? Could your guy not be harbouring secret feelings for that leggy chick? Are you certain that your girl is not encouraging that dude’s advances? NO. You can never be certain. Soon Mr. Doubt would come knocking on your door and he’d keep knocking until you lose your night’s sleep. Love and insecurity are an unavoidable package deal.

Love makes you lose CONFIDENCE: “Holy crow! A pimple! Rahul/Puja would be disgusted!“

“Oh lord! I am so fat. Why does XYZ have to be better looking than me?”

“Would he/she notice that I am wearing the same dress I wore last week?”

Ladies and Gentlemen, say hello to paranoia and under – confidence. You always knew that you are not perfect. Love will thrust this knowledge right in your face flashing in neon lights. Now all you will be worried about is: “Why am I not perfect?”

Love HURTS: Does he love me more than I love him? In that case my love won’t be enough and he’ll leave me.

Does she love me less than I love her? Then she’d think I am imposing myself too much.

He didn’t remember our “First – Chocolate – We – Shared – Together” anniversary. He doesn’t love me the same now.

She doesn’t text me 40 times a day now. She has changed.

Love is the best magnifier in the whole love! In the beginning, every little gesture would seem special. But a few weeks in the relationship, every minor slip would look like a HUGE tragedy. Your heart will ache for every text which wasn’t replied to under 3 minutes. You will shed bucket loads of salty water for every 30 minutes he/ she did not call. Nothing would remain petty. Welcome to the world of extreme exaggeration.

Love makes you a BITCH/ DOG: Oh, I know you are very understanding and forgiving and sweet. 6 months and you would be like every other person in a relationship. Demanding and stubborn. Your interrogation will never end and the answers would never be satisfactory. You’ll raise your eyebrows at every drop of the hat and never let an opportunity of being suspicious slip. Where were you? What were you wearing? Why did you not call? Why did you text? What are you hiding? Why did you wear perfume? Blah blah blah! Or rather Bow Wow Bow!

Oh please, don’t get me wrong. It is not my intention to make you anti – love. I just want to show you the reality. This is the reason for most break – ups which are always ugly. So, the best way is to accept love as it is. It is a shade card with extremes of hot pinks and grays. Accept love as it is. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t turn out like that fairy tale. The happy moments might not be many, but they certainly would seem as many if you untangle the messed up bits with patience and care.

What's underneath?

Magic wands and spells won’t work,

Neither will vampire teeth;

Don’t get me wrong, I love fantasy,

But in real life I prefer what’s underneath.

Underneath all those jazzy clothes,

Loose jeans and Ed Hardy shirt,

Inside that tattooed skin,

What are you, angel or pervert?

Don’t flaunt those flashy rings,

Jewellery is a big no – no,

Neither would that attitude work,

I have a soft corner for sports cars though! (:P)

No gelled hair, no leather boots,

No cigarettes and definitely no booze.

The list of no’s is a bit too long,

Good stock is limited, it’s hard to choose.

Then you came along with an attitude to flaunt,

In your branded shirt and shoes and earring!

You were all the things that I did NOT want,

Then why the hell did I find you endearing?!

I don’t like any razz - matazz,

Or any of the things that you might be.

Oh of course now I know what it is,

It is all that you have underneath..

Many Me

Hannah Montana, the teenage pop – star leads two blessed lives which for her are the best of both worlds. Well, she isn’t the only one. I think no one, and I mean no one, leads a single life. Everyone has a treasure of lifetimes hidden in them. I have distinct personalities. Not two or three, but many. No, I won’t call myself a hypocrite and I am truly justified for having these different ‘me’ inside of me.

Extreme me: One day I would be a fun – filled chilled out girl making everyone laugh with silly jokes or wisecracks. Another day I would be sullen, irritated and easily infuriated. So why do I count both these extremes together? Because this is the unrestrained side of this plain looking girl. I am wild and untamed and pampered to the hilt. I feel the rush of power when people around me submit to my wishes. I feel the jolt of thrill when I do whatever I had planned to. It is a fun and dangerous side of me which is a must have for everyone.

Ms. Sure: Planning. Everything should be where it is meant to be. No clutter. No confusion. No nonsense. I like being sure. It makes me feel in control, responsible. But of course, nothing in life is cakewalk. It becomes an obsession. This aim for perfection becomes a craving and makes an OCD patient out of me. I am headstrong when things go my way and an angry screechy cat (or bitch if you prefer that) when things don’t go as planned. Ofcourse, the major plus point is that things happen on time or before time, leaving ample time for other ‘me’s.

Busy – doin’-nothing: *yawn*. Pass me my book, fluff my pillow, set the temperature of the air conditioner and don’t talk to me. This ‘me’ irritates and is irritating. I won’t ever count reading a book as doing nothing. But in the real world, no food is cooked in the kitchen, no laundry is taken off the clothes line, no empty jugs are refilled and no baths are had while reading. Sad as it might sound. Why is food served when I am lying down contemplating the importance of a good long nap? Well, people will always be jealous. Negative point, you are scolded a lot. Positive, it doesn’t register much in that semi – conscious state! :P

In – the – mood – for – work: Are we supposed to do X? Wow! Great. See. We can do this like this or perhaps this way would be more appropriate. Oh, wait, it would turn out best this way. You get this, I’l start with this and you can begin with this. Let’s roll up our sleeves and go for it. Sounds great? Maybe, maybe not. I work, and I can make YOU work. If I want to do it, I’ll do it in the best possible manner with all my mind in it! It can get annoying. I tend to become bossy. But eventually, the end result is great. So I think the bossy nature can be excused.

Oh, this is just a little sneak peek inside my head. There are no levers or switches to switch between moods. My head is a little like a salad bar. I can choose different things and throw them together and make a cocktail of personalities. I can be in the mood for work while I am being extreme! I can be bossy when I feel lazy. It is like a game of cards. You never know what you are dealt.

There are many you’s hiding inside you. Surprise everyone around you with a new you. Each personality of yours offers a different lifestyle. Experiment a bit. Live a bit different each day. Choose what you want to be. And you’ll see you are no different than a rock star!

Crush # 152

152 and still counting. This is the number of times I have fallen in love. But I think myself too smart and call it infatuation or rather, a crush. It is a wonderful feeling, being in “love” yet again. Those butterflies in your tummy when you are around that someone, that prickling in the back of your neck when you keep wondering if he is watching you silently too or not. Catching his eye in the rearview mirror of the car and averting your gaze quickly feeling guilty. Ah, I have been through all of these umpteen times and I still feel like a love struck teenager when I have a new crush. I fall in “love” at the most unexpected places with the most unexpected men. Once the subject of my attraction was 5 years younger to me; another time he was 10 years elder. I have fallen for my best friend’s brother, my own cousin, my dad’s friend and even my boy friend’s mate. (Oh, did I not say until now that I am happily committed for years now? :P).

This blog post is dedicated to my latest crush. This wasn’t the first time I was meeting him. I know him quite well; we have talked before, even met once. But this meeting was to be the first of many other things. This was the first time I noticed his perfect smile, so childlike and beautiful. It was the first time I noticed that his eyes were light brown. I got lost in them so many times that I had to remind myself not to keep staring at him. Of course, like a perfect lovelorn fool I led myself to believe that he liked looking in my eyes too. It was hard not to notice his messy hair and the urge to pass my fingers through them was always strong. The combination of his attentive nature with his childlike innocence was very fascinating. His pretty eyes missed nothing and the look of bewilderment in them when he caught me passing a naughty smile was enchanting and always made me laugh. And the questions! There was no end to them. He was curious, concerned, casual, attentive, all at the same time. He had an angel’s face with deep and knowing eyes and an unusual grace for his lanky and tall frame. He looked beautiful when he slept, with his hair all over his forehead, half covering his eyes. I could have just observed him sleeping for hours making a portrait in my mind’s canvas. Being a true gentleman, he was so concerned always, so polite and careful around me. But I got glimpses of the child inside him too. Those long stories which held me bound with me mouth agape and eyes wide, those funny and silly and at times adult jokes which had him in splits long before he reached the punch line! And when he laughed, there was nothing holding him back. It reached his brown eyes, lit up his child like face and his persona became so contagious that I couldn’t help laughing too! It was hilarious and mesmerizing at the same time.

I stole glances at him feeling a little thrill when I thought he was looking at me too. I cracked jokes at his expense just to find a way to talk about him or to him. I became a young teenager again. Hopelessly infatuated finding happiness in the littlest of things.

But isn’t that the real purpose of having a crush on someone? It makes you happy; it makes you feel good and lightens up your whole being. I know this cute little crush # 152 of mine won’t last long, but like all my crushes, I will savour it for a long – long time. Because, it makes me happy and that is all that matters.

J