Of Dogs and Flirts

Often I’m reminded how colourful Delhiites are. And no, I’m not just talking about the clothes (though it’s hard to ignore the ishtylish fluorescent green vest with a blinding orange Lord Shiva  emblazoned on the front with fake Swarovski embellishments; and purple baggy pants hanging precariously mid – butt, threatening to fall anytime – actually such colourful characters deserve a blog post of their own!). But this post is dedicated to the rangeelay Dilliwaale. And what better than the Delhi metro to sample some samples?

And no sir, it’s not just the people! A few days ago back, when I was running up metro station’s escalator to catch the waiting metro which could make me reach office on time for once, I was greeted by an unusual sight. So as I was running, hair bellowing, bag clutched in my hand, spectacles slipping off my nose, I skidded inside the metro door just in time to stop myself from bumping into a dog.

A Dog? Well, a puppy actually, but a dog nevertheless. In the metro!

My eyes widened as I saw the little black and white spotted pup sitting on its haunches right at the door. It’s head was cocked to the left and it was looking at me questioningly. After the metro began moving, I straightened my hair and glasses, adjusted my heavy bag (Ma packs a heavy lunch) on my shoulder, I glanced at the lil’ pup again. It was still eying me with a particularly bemused expression. At this point I couldn’t suppress a smile and in turn the puppy stuck it’s tongue out, returning the smile. So I knelt down and scratched it behind the ears. And then it was pandemonium! Apparently the whole train was witnessing this playful exchange between me and the puppy with much interest. Now all the aunties and uncles were clucking their tongues with disapproval and shaking their heads at me.

Umm, yes. So what if the dog was an obvious stray?

So what it all the passengers were confused as to how it got on the train in the first place?

And I got quite a few appreciative glances from some young boys and, awed expressions from kids and disgusted expressions from their parents. Ignoring the attention, I went further inside the train. The little pup followed me. Now began the squealing! Girls were giggling, aunties were shrieking whenever the little pup got too close to their feet. Kids were getting giddy with excitement. Trying to hold back a smile, I settled into a seat (it was one of those lucky days when I managed to find one!). The pup, now scared and jumpy from all the screaming and shrieking, hid itself behind by legs and curled itself around my heels. I shook my heels playfully and prodded it a bit and it playfully responded by playing with the hem of my jeans. Finally, the puppy settled down for a nap around my heels. Soon, the pup’s entertainment value reduced as people shifted attention back to their morning papers or earphones. It was my best metro ride till date! But all the time I was wondering why no one had done anything about the estranged free rider? So, before de- boarding, I fondled the puppy’s head playfully, bid a quick goodbye to it (lest people start thinking me crazy!), pushed the emergency button and informed the driver about the ‘guest’ riding with us.

So, this was about the dog. Now the flirts! So the colourful characters of the city also include the very uniquely talented flirts. I am certain that all women above 14 would be well initiated to the indecent advances and lewd comments of the lecherous crowd. But their novel ways never fail to take me by surprise. I am very good with my poker face but at times even I can’t help not reacting! So this incident, like many recent ones, occurred in the metro as well. On my way back home from work, I was standing in the metro, holding the metro pillar for support. I was reading a book. My bookmark slipped from the pages and landed on the floor. But before I could even bend to retrieve it, a boy had already picked it. I thanked him politely and went on with my reading. But I soon became intensely aware of four people looking at me. They were young boys. Maybe college students. The boy who had helped me was also amongst them, wearing a candy red fitted t – shirt. The other three boys were decently dressed too. The weird thing was that all four were looking at me intently. But when I caught them looking, three of them averted their eyes but Mr. Sandy red gave me a little smile. I acknowledged him with a nod and turned my attention back to my book. Soon I could hear whispers. The four boys were talking about me. I was sure because I could still sense them looking at me. Finally, at one station, they made to get out. I was relieved because their stares and whispered conversations were making me uneasy. Mr. Candy red though, did not alight with his friends who called him again and again. Mr. Candy red did not budge from his place and told his friends that he had to try. I got off at the next station. Mr. Candy red followed me. I quickly exited the station but I knew he was still behind me. Just as I was about the go down the stairs, Mr. Candy red shouted excuse me and out of habit, I turned. The short conversation that followed was something like this:

Mr. Candy red: Hi.

Me: Yes?

Mr. Candy red: Umm, I just wanted to tell you that you are very beautiful.

Me: (Raised one eyebrow)

Mr. Candy red: And I think I have fallen in love with you.

Me: (Trying hard not to laugh) Excuse me?

Mr. Candy red: I am in love with you. Would you like to join me for a coffe?

Me: No. Sorry. I am not interested.

Mr. Candy red: Can I have your number please?

Me: Look, I am really not interested. I have to go.

I fled down the stairs thinking about all the intelligent retorts I could have given him.

Mr. Candy red (shouting from behind): Do you want me to follow you around till you get convinced?

I let myself smile a bit but made sure that he did not see it.

I was a bit flattered but mostly, surprised out of my wits! This was a first for me. Hence, I conclude that Delhi’s colourful crowd would never cease to surprise me. Be it dogs or flirts.