Need a shoulder?

Everyone has played agony aunt. Some people enjoy it, other don’t. As for me (it’s MY blog so obviously I’ll get more footage!), I don’t know about enjoying it but people seek my services as one oftet. Reason being, I believe I come across as a very quiet, wise and understanding person (not that I claim to be it all) but it makes people assume that I would be a good agony aunt.

Playing agony aunt for men can be a satisfying experience because you can give them your suggestions, discuss their problems rationally, point out where they went wrong. In short, most guys won’t mind criticism and look forward to suggestions. But you have to tread carefully around their extremely inflatable male ego. Just a bit too much of the wrong kind of wind and it goes bobbing in your face!

With women, playing agony aunt is an all together different ball game. It is a hundred times more complex. Somehow, nothing you say seems to pacify the. Well, the solution is quite simple if you are patient enough to go through it. The most important thing to remember is that women DO NOT need anyone’s advice. They are only looking for a person (preferably dumb) who’d hear them out and grunt and nod at appropriate intervals. Don’t ever make the mistake of making any suggestions unless you have been explicitly asked for them atleast FIVE times! So hear them out patiently while they vent their heart out to you. But hold on guys, before you make elaborate plans of consoling the next distressed girl you see, listen to the hard part. We girls are rather smart, so, pretentious grunts and nods won’t be enough and we can very well catch the yawn you try to stifle. So basically, you need to assure them that they are right. Whatever they did was completely acceptable and any normal person would have done the same thing under such circumstances. You have to strategically twist around their words and give it back to them. Throw in a couple (actually,  make that a score) of compliments and totally filmy philosophy to convey that the pretty little distressed thing deserves so much more and only good can happen to such a good person. Oh, and don’t forget to add that the frown and tears don’t do justice with such a beautiful face and BINGO! She’d be smiling in no time. The only downside is that the whole session might go on for hours and would come up the next day and the next day and the whole week and might pop up months later as well. And you’d be expected to remember each and every word exchanged during that conversation.

So, is it a lose – lose situation for the consoler? Actually, I believe that it’s quite the opposite. Undeniably, it is a feel good thing for the agony aunt. The comfort seekers make you feel important and trust you enough to share their troubles with you. They also consider you wise and understanding to seek advice. Besides, this pedestal that you are placed on, you are also involved in someone else’s problems, the outcome of which won’t have any effect in your personal life. And essentially, all humans are voyeuristic in nature. Offering your suggestions or shoulder can make you a part of a live and exclusive real life daily soap. It’s another matter whether how much this drama interests or excites you.

A word of caution: If your name becomes synonymous with Agony Aunt/ Uncle, it can wreak your personal life and snatch away your peace of mind.

Though, I’m no veteran, I speak from my personal experience. I rarely share my problems with anyone and I am yet to master the art of solving my troubles satisfactorily. Therefor helping someone else (in whatever small way) with their problems makes me feel stronger and gives me hope that if I can help others, then being the selfish creature that I am, I can help myself better.

Also, being agony aunt can be very satisfying too. The knowledge that you could be some help to others (however trivial it might be), can do you a whole lot of good.

And there goes my phone again. Seems like someone need the agony aunt!