Whose wedding is it?

Have you noticed, the wedding season is now never ending? Be it summers, rains or winters, weddings are happening every day. Which translates into - 

• all you can eat buffets, 
• dusting off and wearing all the expensive clothes and shoes that you bought but never quite found the right occasion to wear,
• looking at and passing judgement on others who deep dived  into the depths of their wardrobes or pockets for expensive clothes and shoes, and
• getting dolled up (unisex statement. Playing dress up is now common to both men and women) by waxing, scrubbing, polishing and painting various parts of the body

But the weddings are not about us. They are about the bride. Although in most cases, she is the one who least enjoys her own wedding. What with wearing 40 kilos of wedding finery, 10 kilos of gajra, jewellery and heavily embroidered dupattas hanging from the back of her head (that neck ache takes time to go away!) and the pressure of a thousand faces staring at her from all angles noticing her every movement, and the video cameras thrust in her face ensuring she can't get a decent morsel of food in her mouth, and forget about having a sip of water without straw because she can't risk ruining her lipstick. But yeah, weddings are still about the bride. It is her long time dream coming true. It is her day to feel like a princess, even though she can't feel her face with all the layers of make - up on her.

Yes, the weddings are about the bride. And the bride wants everything to be perfect, every hair in place, no lipstick on teeth and the smile she spent hours mastering in front of the mirror. Even if she does not look or feel herself, it is fine, because everything has to be perfect. But is it really fine?

With close friends getting married, I have been subjected to the torture of giving my opinion on a thousand pictures of brides. I have seen ugly ducklings transform into shy fairies on their weddings. My jaw has dropped tens of time and my mind has refused to believe that a woman who looks like any regular girl can become goddess like - with only traces of similarity left with her original self.But do they forget that they will have to wash off that make-up in a few hours. I am sure her to-be husband and his family would have seen the girl in her original form. Would they not wonder - who this woman is, we saw someone else? When after a few years, the bride's kids will watch the pictures and videos from their mother's wedding - would they believe that their mother is the same woman their father married - because she would look nothing like her!

How fair is it to become so superficial on your D-Day that the most honest compliment you get is - "Wow! You look nothing like yourself. Totally changed!". Is it satisfying to know that you looked extraordinarily beautiful on your wedding - but nothing like yourself? Or is it the pressure of the society that makes them want to give in to their expectations of looking utterly and unbelievable gorgeous and lose her own identity. How does it feel to look into the mirror and find a stranger looking back at you - knowing - that your groom would be marrying this stranger and not the woman he met and liked/ fell in love with.

Here are some examples of transformation:

I have nothing against make-up and wanting to look pretty. All I am suggesting is that there should be a limit to a make-over. Especially on the day which will be immortalised in albums, videos, posters and fridge magnets for years to come! 

Oh, and I am not showing off, but just to prove my point and highlight that I am not hypocrite, here goes:

So ladies, you are beautiful the way you are and that is what your new family believes too! Just to fulfill your dream of looking ravishing on your special day, don't let someone else take the center stage at your own wedding.