The One - Err... Really?

“Hum ek baar jeete hain, ek baar marte hain, shaadi  bhi ek baar hoti, aur pyaar, wo bhi ek baar hota hai…”

Despite the undeniable fact that Shahrukh Khan looks absolutely convincing (and deliciously gorgeous) when he delivers these lines in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, many would still scoff at him and his theory of once – in – a – lifetime. This is not an era where love happens just once and as most Hollywood stars would provide evidence for, neither do marriages. But Bollywood courses through our veins. We may deny it to our heart’s desire but we all love love stories. And we are all waiting for ‘The One’. If we already are with someone, then we hope with all our might for her/ him to be ‘The One’.

Question #1: Who is ‘The One’?

There are no definitions. Girls get dreamy eyed when asked this question, some even blush, and rattle on a much heard list of adjectives which invariably include tall, handsome, sensitive, understanding, blah and blah. Honest (and straight) men would admit that their ‘The One’ would be some hot chick with killer curves. And there would always be those practical people who’d explain how their perfect one would complement their thinking and morals and lifestyle and pockets! Everyone starts making a little list in their mind when asked what their ‘perfect one’ would be like. Although most lists would end up being rather similar, everyone’s eventual choice would turn out to quite unique.

Question #2: How do you know you’ve met ‘The One’?

A very dear friend of mine, according to her family and many friends, is now of marriageable age. Like all good parents would, hers are groom hunting as well. She told me about a few suitable suitors she’d met. Although a few freak cases were there, but quite a few were handsome, well spoken, well to do (loaded, in other terms!) and had a good family to back them. But she still wasn’t impressed enough to want to marry any of them. Why? As she puts it, it didn’t click. I used to roll my eyes at her. But now when I write this, I think I do agree with her.

First impressions are lasting. And unfortunately, everyone seems to know that and hence, everyone wants to leave a lasting and good first impression. Most of which is pretentious and a load of bull – crap. So most guys my dear friend of marriageable age would have met would have been very similar to each other in their behavior. Polite, appropriately shy and appropriately funny, decent and they all would have been wearing good shoes (Men have somehow the idea that women notice a man’s shoes first! Hurr!). The only (and rather important) difference would be in the looks department which they wouldn’t have been able to do much with. In that case, my friend is no way wrong if she is using her intuition for making the most important decision of her life, rather than just basing it on what she sees.

We all might have met hundreds of good looking men and women. We do get infatuated (well, I certainly do!), but at the risk of sounding terribly sappy, we only seem to be falling in love when something.. clicks!

Question #3: Can there be a “Second One”?

So you think this is it. You have found your perfect partner, your soul – mate, the love of your life. You have committed your life to loving this person unconditionally and living happily ever after with her/ him. And then your bubble bursts. The reason can be any: either of you cheated, either of you turned out to be an insecure, over possessive prick or you just fell out of love or fell for someone else. Of course one might argue that they had made the wrong choice in the first place and that person never was ‘The One’. Although, I believe that would be rather unfair on that person. That is why in the movie K2H2, even Mr. Know – It – All, SRK realized that we do live once, but in that life we are given ample opportunities to explore love. So there can be a second one and just might be a third one or fourth… the number doesn’t really matter. What matters is that we are happy with our choice and we don’t regret.

So, don’t hold yourself back waiting for ‘The (Perfect) One’. Remember, even if you find someone perfect it won’t guarantee you happiness because you won’t be perfect enough for her/him. And you might just end up missing someone who might not be perfect, but might be ‘The One’ after all.

But, never be hasty about love. You’ll just end up bruised.

Be a bit more selfish. Don’t swear by Bollywood hoping that your love story would eventually have a happily ever after even though you are going through the hardest possible time. You deserve a lot more. Never compromise.

Here’s to hoping that we all find our ‘The One’ and get to keep him/ her.. or ‘The Second One’ or ‘The Third One’ or… Oh, never mind the number. Cheers!