No, not my family, not my partner, hardly a friend, then how does it matter what she/ he thinks of my actions? His opinion doesn't matter to me, and as far as I know, my stance hardly waiver her decisions, then why do I worry about their reaction before putting up a status on Facebook or BBM? I have never been very social. In fact, I often get reprimanded for not wanting to attend social events like weddings and other such parties with a lot of known people where I am supposed to smile and pay my respects to everyone. Now everyone I know is connected with me on FB. It is a like a big party where everyone is scrutinizing everyone else's actions.
It is great to connect again with old friends whom I had lost touch with. But things get weird when people I haven't ever shared a word with in person send me requests on Facebook which I am obliged to accept because we went to the same school (batches apart! Some had kids in diaper by the time I passed out or some were still learning the alphabet when I graduated to college.) Accepted because I do not want to come across as a rude person. I get pinged on chat by people I don't remember and I end up asking them the same question every time they send a Hi! on my G-talk:
Hey, so what are you doing now? Really? You had answered this question 3 months ago when you first pinged me? (And still you expected me to remember it when I can't even recall where I know you from! Bleh!)
Things are different when strangers claim your attention with 'wanna make fraaandship with meh' proposals. Then it is easy to give them a piece of your mind in polite, funny or heavily sarcastic manner (depending on my mood, stranger's grammar and looks :P). But how do you say no to a person who can seemingly write a biography on you:
"Oh hey, how are you? Remember me? I am your friend ABC's cousin's friend. We met at ABC's birthday party 5 years back. How have you been? Do you still have boy- cut hair? And how is your mom? Still teaching in that school? And what is up with your sister? She was enrolled in that beauty - culture course, right? And your dad? Does he still walk to his school everyday? And how about you? I heard you are working with Zee News! And are you still seeing XYZ?"
I wonder if he/she maintained a diary dedicated to me to be able recall my boring life's details with such precision. Although answers of most of the questions are a negative but I still don't want to hurt that person's feeling with a response which sounds like: "My hair has grown much longer. Thank god for that! And I don't work with Zee anymore (Thank god for that as well :P). And I have no clue who you are and why you are disturbing my mailbox's peace!"
Instead I frame an acceptably polite response which doesn't sound like 'me' at all and spend a good part of the day enquiring about the person from every possible source. You see I hate being curious.
Till this time it is very manageable. Let's go back to that stranger's last question: Are you still seeing XYZ? Usually I ignore these questions but the internet has made people virtually courageous. Much more than they can be in the real life. Hence, I give in to their shameless persistence. Regardless of the answer, the men I have encountered often end up declaring that they had a crush on me (too *rolling eyes*) and still harbour a fondness for me. This never ceases to marvel me because I always considered myself plain looking, bordering on cute. And none of them had had enough interactions for me to thaw and show my 'real' self (which is witty and funny and smart :P Stop smirking! Its an honest self estimation!). After all this time on networking portals I can guess a guy's next message almost verbatim. Its the women who stump me! My answers to their seemingly innocent enquiries about my love life become the gossip of the month which keeps coming back to me in all sorts of unwelcome forms from unexpected sides.
These, along with losing interest, were the major reasons why my frequency on Facebook spiralled downwards. And now, my status on Facebook and Blackberry Messenger sound dull and uninteresting which again bothers me because I get worried about my social image being labelled as boring. Social networking complicates life. You hate it. But you can't live without it. Its a party you won't miss but will attend grudgingly. Sucks!
This epiphany struck me when I went to a temple with a group of friends. The girls and boys got separated during the security check and while the girls were going berserk looking for the boys (mobile phone were not allowed in the premises. How stupid!), the boys were busy filling their tummies in the food court. What is more, as the evening was winding down, the girls wanted to reach home in time (parents, I tell you! Well, they deserve another blog post), the boys wanted to go bowling (after a very late and heavy lunch, imagine!). So we girls who were still offended by the ruthless behaviour shown by the boys decided to play the non - chalant card, acted as if we could manage to go back home alone, wished the boys fun for the rest of the evening and stalked off, not sparing them a backward glance. Well, of course we were sure that they would come running behind us offering to drop us home as it was late and dark and none of us were very sure of the way back home and the city is no longer a safe place for young girls to venture alone in (Excuse the dramatics, at that moment, it did pose a BIG problem, I mean the newspapers are full of gory stories, but that again is worth another blog post). But it did not happen! The boys surprised us again. Hence, 7 girls fit themselves into one car and drove around speculating about the correct way back home, cursing the boys for their insensitivity. That is when it hit home. That had we even a single couple amongst us, the day would have had a happy ending. Granted that the boys apologized later (much later!) and girls, as is in their nature, did not make much of an effort to understand the boys' side of the story. But what's use of hitting the iron when it has cooled down already?
My last book (Room by Emma Donaghue) was a simulating read. I was forcing myself to read it slowly to savour it for a long time as I did not have any other book to devour after I was through with it. But when I realised that it was clouding my head with depressing thoughts I quickly finished it (partially also because the plot caught up with me. It was hard to put it down after that). That is why I prefer to alternate genres after each book I read. But because I am facing a dearth of good books these days (I miss days when people suggested books by authors other than Chetan Bhagat), I am re-reading my little collection for the umpteenth time. But I often end up avoiding my favourite one, Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns. It is a beautiful composition because for me it flows like a perfect melody making the reader feel a rainbow of emotions. But people complain that it brings out the feminist in me. But apart from that I get too sentimental and the vulnerability bothers me. 
So I generally find myself re- reading the Twilight series. It brings a smile to my face, a spring to my step and I can smell the romance in the air. It is not because of the author's expertise. Far from it. It is just because I have a crush on a character (which girl won't actually. Edward is every woman's prince charming despite him being a vampire). I rarely get into a bad mood when I'm reading that series and I guess that's the reason why I have read twilight over 20 times and conveniently skip the second book in the series where Edward is absent for the most part. 
But let me clarify that romance is not my genre. Thank goodness my mother brought me Enid Blyton books to read rather than Nancy Drew. I have a theory about those. Girls who read Nancy Drew advance to Mills & Boons later. From Enid Blyton’s kiddy novels I progressed to Famous Five mysteries. But somehow, I never read too many thrillers (enough, but not too many) or mysteries and even now I'll choose a nice emotional story over a pacy thriller. I suppose my Ma is the reason behind this sub conscience preference. I was very young and an avid reader. Being a teacher, my Ma got me books from the school library so I read books of her choice. That is why most of the books I have read are emotional and have a complex story line which is hard to describe in one line.
Many books have had me sobbing uncontrollably (like Cecilia Ahern's P.S. I Love You, an exceptional romance in my favourite books list), made me live in a world of fantasy (like J. K. Rowling's brainchild), altered my attitude towards the world around me (Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird, Gregory David Robert's Shantaram), made me more sensitive to others (Sorayya Khan's Noor, Arthur Golden's Memoirs of a Geisha) and had me in splits (Jerome K. Jerome's Three men in a boat). Books have changed the way I see the world. 
